Elaine Faber

What is Murphy's Original Law?

If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.

Other wise men have opined similar notable truisms.

• Etorre's Observation - The other line      moves faster.
• Acton's Law - Power corrupts,      absolute power corrupts absolutely
• Boob's Law - You always find      something in the last place you look.
• Franklin's Rule - Blessed is he who      expects nothing, for he will not be disappointed.

As authors, Murphy’s Law affects our craft. I’ve taken the liberty of thinking how some of these laws might apply to an author. Perhaps you’ve experienced a few?

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer

1.  The chance that your copy machine will break down is proportional to the importance of the manuscript that needs to be copied.

2.  When you arrive at your pitch session appointment, you’ve left the synopsis at home on the desk.

3. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the writing instructor asks for a ride home after class.

4. Any time you are unable to solve a problem scene in your manuscript, ask your critique leader. She probably won't know how either, but she will fake it.

5. If you’re broke you ask your publisher for an advance on your royalties, she will help you remember what you wasted all your money on.

6. The display settings on your computer will play havoc only when you have to finish the article for a press release by 5:00 this afternoon.

7. At the end of the Writer’s Conference, you recall having enrolled in a lecture at the beginning of the weekend…and never attending.

8. On the day you planned to work on that difficult love scene in your manuscript, your neighbor is going to mow the grass all day.

9. At the Writer’s Conference, your laptop will fail during the main speaker’s lecture.

Author’s Corner: Look at something you wrote several years ago. If you can’t immediately improve it by editing or rewriting it today, you aren’t growing as an author. Better take some additional writing courses, join a critique group, or head for a writer’s conference. An author must constantly be improving his craft or risk being left behind.

Everybody Else: If you eat a live toad in the morning, nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

Fishing CatsIn the wild, cats are very lean. Fat helps an animal float and keeps them warm in the water. Since cats don't have much fat, they are not natural swimmers and their natural food source consists of small land animals. In addition, since Cat’s fur is dense, it takes a long time to dry, so a cat wants to avoid the discomfort of a soggy coat.

Not so, the Fishing Cat of the South Seas, Prionailurus viverrinus, a breed of feline with webbed paws and a preference for fish. Over the years, they stepped out of their comfort zone hunting land animals, and adapted to their environment−densely vegetated areas near water, rivers and streams in the South Seas islands, India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Vietnam, Burma, and China.

 Although they will eat small mammals, they prefer fish. They approach a stream, tap their paw lightly on the water’s surface, mimicking an insect. When a fish is attracted by the movement, they dive into the water and catch the fish. Over the years, their bodies evolved to have partially webbed paws and long claws so they can scoop out fish, frogs or other prey. They swim underwater to stalk ducks and aquatic birds.

 The Fishing Cat ranges from 15 to 25 pounds. Their long, stocky bodies have short legs, a broad head, round ears and a short tail, with black stripes and rows of black spots marking their fur. They usually raise 2-3 kittens in a litter. Their vocalization is like the bark of a dog

 The Fishing Cat is endangered due to loss of habitat and being hunted for food and fur. People have drained wetland areas for farmland and roads where they lived. Pollution has poisoned rivers and streams where they once fed. However, the few in captivity, (see the Smithsonian Zoo video attached) are doing well, so we may yet be able to save this beautiful and unusual cat, one of God’s beautiful creatures.

 Author Corner: Do you actively promote your book, and attempt to increase your social media presence? Every day? Its takes time and work and cuts into our everyday lives. But why did you write the book if you won’t actively promote it? Random House isn’t likely to come knocking on your door. Get out there and do something every day to promote your book. Comment on a blog, write a blog, (start a blog), query an agent, make a new Facebook friend, pursue an interview locally. Whatever you can think of, just do it! 

Everyday folks: Like the Fishing Cat that stepped beyond his comfort zone as a land animal and found his life enriched when he moved into the uncomfortable water, why don’t you take a chance and move out of your comfort zone? Take on the chairmanship of a committee, learn a new sport like tennis or bungee-jumping (maybe not so much), take a cooking class or volunteer at a local charity. You’ll find your life enriched by your new experiences. What have you done lately to step out of your comfort zone?

Here’s how a series of events can result in a frog rain. ­­­­

­­­Before a severe thunderstorm, when a high pressure system forms over a body of water, it can cause a small tornado called a waterspout (a whirlwind that picks up water and anything lightweight within it).

Frogs weighing little more than a few ounces are no match for a watery waterspout.

As with tornados crossing land, the center of the waterspout is a low-pressure tunnel within a high-pressure cone. Any light weight item (frogs) can be sucked into the vortex. ­

When a particularly large tornado with waterspout and hitchhiking frogs hits land, it loses some of its energy and slows down. As the vortex loses pressure, it releases whatever cargo it has picked up along the way– The end result? It rains frogs.

 Author’s Corner: An author may find a certain character taking over the scene to the detriment of the protagonist’s goal. Maybe your writing rambles without moving the story forward. Maybe you have too many viewpoint characters. These are the frogs of unintended consequences every author needs to watch out for.

Everyday folks:  Life is complicated. Sometimes, through no fault of our own, we find ourselves the recipient of unintended consequences, either short-lived or life-long.  We are like the innocent storm, crossing a lake, minding its own business, and suddenly, we’ve picked up those frogs along the way.